DON'T say that!

It just occurred to me that the overused assertion that "that person doesn't deserve you", used to console someone who's just ended a romantic relationship, is really of very little consolation. It may be comforting to someone who wasn't really emotionally committed to the relationship (like a pop star who was "dating" one of her backup dancers), but if there was any emotional sacrifice or connection, the last thing someone wants to hear (besides, "I just checked, and there is a woodpecker trying to build a nest in the top of your skull.") is that his significant other wasn't good enough for him. How is that supposed to help?! That's a vindictive angle to take, and if the person you're consoling cared at all about the other person, he will be feeling very tender and sad, and maybe even hurt, but not vengeful. If he is feeling vengeful, it is out of reaction to emotional pain, and you should not add fuel to that feeling. Do this person a service by avoiding the easy utterance of, "she didn't deserve you." Are you so thick that that's the only thing you can think of to say? Use your brain! Don't say that, you idiot!