Lazer cappability: the ease with which a laser can be capped

Apparently, the Japan tsunami washed a lot of garbage into the ocean. There is a story on NPR.org about the efforts of scientists to forecast where all of this garbage will end up (it was concluded that most of it would wash up in Hawaii and the west coast of the continental US). Naturally, many web-nerds have been busy commenting and counter-commenting on the story. Some of the comments deal with individuals' small-minded indignation at this sea garbage even being a story at all:

Rebekah Scott (rebrites) wrote:

I wonder who the poor Hawaiian tourists and surfer dudes will find to sue for their pain and suffering. Thousands in Japan die or are hurt or lose their homes and health, and all the USA can do is whine "what about ME???"

That is silly, ma'am. Of course the worst thing about the tsunami is the human suffering it has caused, but it doesn't mean that tons of garbage floating all over the world is a non-issue. We can be concerned about both things at the same time. Howzat?

While a portion of the posted comments are rooted at the holy roller level of "everyone is a selfish jerk except for me", more enlightened minds are using their comments to propose viable solutions to the inevitable landfall of the mass of trash. Enlightened minds like astro-maritime technology guru Pat Jessee:

Pat Jessee (jypssee) wrote:

Is there not a lazer cappabilty to reduce this flowting island of debris into dust size particals? Or a large ship with a big drop down opening where it could swallow up and sort and recycle major wood, etc.

Come on, scientists! Have we forgotten our laser capabilities? And our lazer cappabilities? Is it not high time we deployed the large drop-down opening sorting ship? This is a call to action! The island of debris is flowting towards us as we speak!!