Romantically linked.

I just read a blog post by a writer for NBA.com which focused on basketball players whose anomalous career statistics have earned them ignominy among, well, mostly just writers for NBA.com. The article concludes by noting that one player who committed five personal fouls in just under three minutes of game play does have some redeeming events in his life to fall back on. Career highlights are listed, including winning a league championship. But the final item on the list of positives working in this player's favor is this:

He’s been romantically linked to the 2006 Miss Universe, Zuleyka Rivera, for cryin’ out loud.

In following the web link the writer provides, readers are transferred to this image:

A beautiful lady, no? Well, since the main point of beauty pageants is physical objectification (I know that there are talent competitions, and probing questions about world hunger, but let's all be adults about this), I've decided to go one step further and help you focus on Miss Universe 2006's face:

So okay. Now here's my suggested rewrite of that last sentence of the NBA.com blog post:

He’s been romantically linked to the 2006 Miss Universe, Zuleyka Rivera, for cryin’ out loud, shown here looking like a drunk monster.