Message clipped.

I just received this email from a guy who's trying to partner with our agency, but doesn't really seem to grasp the process of...anything...

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[Message clipped] View entire message

So, just to be thorough, I did click on the link to view the entire message. The entire message consisted of exactly 254,904 characters of the same stuff. My favorite part was the bit that said "QUAFAB" over and over again; that was riveting. I found myself really rooting for QUAFAB to stay consistent, but, alas, it eventually succumbed to "Boatow8j0", etc. Here's a screenshot of my email inbox. As you can see, he sent me this email more than once.

OMG?!

OMG. It means "Oh my gosh", as you are likely aware. But isn't it getting a little stale? Isn't it SO two thousand-ten? Aren't we ready for a fresh acronym to express our delight, surprise, shock and even indignation? And so, in this moment of dire need, here am I with the answer. I just thought of it a moment ago, and it only took me three minutes to polish it for presentation to a waiting world. The new interjection acronym is "OBGYN".

OBGYN! Try it! Let it roll off your tongue with the attitude of a fourteen year-old who has just experienced her first twinge of jealous, hormonal anger! It stands for "Oh boy... Golly! Yikes! NO!" I think it's going to catch on. It's more fun than OMG because it has more letters. And the more letters you have in the acronym you spout forth as your best friend (BFF) tells you how hard he laughed (ROFL, or LMAO) when the middle school janitor accidentally tripped the science teacher with a mop bucket (ATWAMB), the more amplified your reaction will seem. "OBGYN, did you see her skirt?!" We're well on our way to a brighter tomorrow.

All aboard! part 2

Why is it that so many religious and political extremists in the Middle East and elsewhere want to blow Americans up, or chop their heads off with swords? I'm sure the answer is very nuanced and complicated. But I can't help but look at this ad and think that the face he is making is probably not helping the situation.

All aboard!

America! All aboard!

Japan! All aboard!

Who wants to go on a cruise with Glenn Beck? It promises to be liberty at sea! Nobody? Really? Now who wants to be crammed into a Tokyo metro car with about 400 other people by some uniformed metro butlers? No one? Well, what if I told you that you had to choose between the Japanese metro and the Glenn Beck boat? Aha, I knew we'd have more metro takers.

Wells Fargo Bank - January 4, 2012 - 12:45 pm

Here is a list of the people I observed while standing in line at the bank today, simplified to an expression of each one's most striking physical characteristics:

- Old Mickey Rooney

- Hotel concierge in a grey tuxedo vest

- 20 year-old country music starlet stuck in a 70 year-old woman's body

- Catwoman eye makeup girl

- 40 year-old son of Italian mob boss whose father never expected much of him (wearing Ed Hardy t-shirt)

- Crazy-hair lady with cargo-pocket capris and a broken foot

- Latino Elvis Presley (Bank Manager)

- Jersey Shore guys with chinstrap beards

And me. Put us all together, and you basically have a Halloween party.

Jesus Christ is Lord.

And this girl is Melanee, or Tara.

I think it's good that the creator of this ad didn't try to reconcile the assertion of Christ's divinity with the presence of the image depicting a bleach-blond young conservative wearing a gaudy cross, because any attempt would almost certainly fall short, and weaken the ad's ability to produce a mindless, knee-jerk reaction.

Well, is she?

Hello reading person. Sorry there's been such a big gap between weblog posts. Google made it impossible to be logged into two of their accounts on the same computer at once, or something, and that has made logging in to write on the blog much more of a chore than it usually is, or something. And given that it is never imperative in any way for me to make posts to the blog (case-in-point: that "big gap" between posts will, for you, be measured in inches [about two of them], and not in weeks or months. In other words, nobody reads this), it took a back seat to other things, like not posting, quite easily. So, what could be important enough to make me log out of one Google account and into another to document here? I'll tell you, shall I?

This is what I saw when I went to Comcast.net just now:

Is Kate Middleton Hidding a Baby Bump?

CelebTV

I saw this, among numerous other grabby headlines, such as "Sinead O'Conner to Wed for Fourth Time". Incidentally, the reason I visited Comcast.net was to pay my home internet bill, so that I could have continued, unlimited access to a medium whereby I can stay updated on all this garbage.

So here's what I want to know: is Kate Middleton hidding a baby bump? And if so, how is she doing it? As a young person, I hid my fair share of bumps and other things, but I never found it necessary to hidd anything, bump or other. I'm not sure what would force someone into hidding something, nor am I clear on how they would accomplish it. So if Princess Kate is indeed hidding that bump, she is a cleverer chap than I. I suppose if anyone has hidding capability, it is someone who has the wiles and resources of MI6 at her disposal (does she have those things at her disposal? I would imagine she at least has a small contingent with her all the time).

You may be wondering, at this point, if I am really so interested in how she's managing to hidd her baby bump, why haven't I clicked on the link and read the story? Same reason I haven't logged out of Google account A and into Google account B to write a blog post in so long: it's easier not to.